Therapeutic Words

I wish I know how to always respond therapeutically,
Many times in life we will hurt and get hurt and hurt,
How do I try to stay away from those?

Turkey: Places that we Visited

Places that we visited:

Istanbul:

Panorama 1453

Theodosian Wall

Pierre Lotti

Eyup Sultan Cami/ Turbesi

Bosphorus cruise- Dolmabahce palace, Ciragian Palace,Galatasaraye University, Ortakoy cami, Rumeli Hisari, Belebeyi Palace,Kiz Kulesi

Aqueduct

Suleymaniye Cami

Fetih Cami

Hippodromi

Topkapi Palace

Hagia Sophia

Blue Mosque

Grand Bazaar

Ourtakoy Mosque, Bosphorus Bridge

Bursa:

Cumalikizik

Yesil Cami/Turbesi (Green Mosque)

Osman, Orhan Gazi tomb

Ulu Cami (Grand Mosque)

Karavas-i vali (Sufi dance)

Cappadocia:

Derinkuyu Underground city

Ihlara Valley

Selime Cathadrel

Pigeon Valley

Goreme Panorama

Hot air Balloon

ATV

Pottery

Pasabag

Imagination Valley (Pevri Vadisi)

Unhealthy Interactions

Unhealthy. Stop before getting scarred emotionally and being unfair to myself, and everyone else. Oh gosh, I wish I can reverse time and stop doing silly things. 

I am sorry.

Fluffy ideas. Unrealistic. 

This is just a product of low self-esteem.

If I can't answer this question of ' Will it still be the same if that person gain 50 kg or lose hands?', I am not ready. Just hormonal imbalances.

Until you live and marry that person, you will never know that person. You only will give more chances for people to give better impression and image.

I can be but I can't

I can be nice but I can't be sweet,

I can be smart but I can't be genius,

I can be generous but I can't be selfless,

I can be considerate but I can't be too patient.

I have to try hard with everything that I still can't put as what define me.
I am the one who is not easily excitable, emotionless.

Vow to be the Lovely Sun

Last Muharram, I made a vow,

To not be the swelling cloudy rain that people fear will drench them.

I wanted to be the fiery wheel in the sky splashing molten-gold beams of light through the saffron leaves. 

Many have said, I have always been the scorching sun in hot climate countries driving out the energy. A rather scary character firing people. Apology I ask from people who have felt only sweltering effects emanating from me.

#ifyouunderstandwhatimean

Epilepsy

I am going to do my SSC (Student Selected Component) on Epilepsy. Tomorrow is the day I am going to see my potential supervisor. Hope everything goes well.

I am very interested with brain as I had always thought that what defines our individuality, personality, uniqueness have its roots and come from the brain. If the brain is slightly faulty or some parts went amiss, are we still ourselves although some of our personalities are gone.

What is being ourselves after all? Is it really from brain or actually from what is in the soul? Who are we without brain and who are we without soul?

Arghh, my brain hurts thinking about this.

Rejections and Dejections; Placement Life

Have you ever felt dejected? I have. Repeatedly having it since the past 8 weeks.

Standing next to the patients' bed with the smartest men and not being acknowledged at all.
I have had the days where I did not have the slightest courage to even ask "What is going on with the patient?".

I have been made to feel like I am useless, only in people's way. That, my friends, the worst ever thing that you could make anyone feel.

I have had days where I had to hold tears, with flushed face, shaking just because of rejections.
What I meant by rejections is me coming up to the clinicians, " Hi, do you have anything that I can help you with? I am doing........." after having myself introduced.
I had met " No, sorry" as a reply repeatedly, be it either from a smiling face trying to be empathetic or from stern-do-not-disturb-me-look.

And I am still learning to keep doing the same thing, telling myself I will only come out of this stronger. Question is, will I ever come out of this? Is that what I really want? No, rejections will be part of my life as I will always need to look out for people or learning opportunities and not all the time they will accept me or the world will go round and let me have it. So, I just have to never give up.

I have to be stronger and take everything as it is and keep searching for other better things waiting for me. Wait, are they really waiting for me? Probably not, I just have to search and grab them right away. That is what I have come to understand. This is life.

I have made myself to promise to always try be a good teacher all the time, but that doesn't mean I can't say no at all, I just have to be nice and understanding.

Writing

I have always wanted to write. I have always have a thing with words. I love listening to harmonious words in whatever language. I love learning languages. I find satisfaction letting out things in beautiful phrases.

I do not find myself having the flair to write but recently I have got the intrinsic motivation to at least not to give up trying. I may start writing soon, now that I am better with the keyboard.

I am next going to find a good dictating application.

Pray for me.