Unhealthy. Stop before getting scarred emotionally and being unfair to myself, and everyone else. Oh gosh, I wish I can reverse time and stop doing silly things.
I am sorry.
Fluffy ideas. Unrealistic.
This is just a product of low self-esteem.
If I can't answer this question of ' Will it still be the same if that person gain 50 kg or lose hands?', I am not ready. Just hormonal imbalances.
Until you live and marry that person, you will never know that person. You only will give more chances for people to give better impression and image.