Of Not Giving Up

Of Not Giving Up

I have had this kind of day.

That morning, I started my day with the spirit of having a bold heart. I waited in the clinic for the doctor to come for about 40 minutes, while nurses prepared the equipments. That day, we had IT system problem again. We can’t access the data system like the previous 2 days. So, we had to make use of what other systems we had. Therefore, inevitable delay we had.

Anyway, I don’t want to go through the details, but that morning, I was sent away from joining that clinic. I could feel my face was so flushed and I could feel that my tears will fall at any moment. So, I went away with a ‘thank you’ which probably stuck halfway between my vocal cord and the air. Went to the toilet, cupped my face and burst into tears in there. I blame my hormones. Lol. After some time of trying to recollect myself and my thoughts with the promise I have made, I went into the other clinic, managed to see 2 patients undergoing the tests, making sure I have smiles on my face throughout although I am not sure about how my eyes were looking. I told myself, ‘Yeah, Amirah, the day will only get better’. Just because your morning was bad in your perception, does not mean you can make someone else’s day becoming bad too. Be thankful.

That noon, I had the choice to go home or to stay. I know I will not feel any better going home, so I braved through and find things to do. Alhamdulillah, He helped paving the way through as long as I don’t give up and of course He was the One giving me the strength to keep standing. I went to this Unit and met a very nice doctor. You know what, being nice towards someone can really change someone’s day and even one’s life course. I thought I was not gonna love this specialty, but maybe I have to reconsider.

So, that afternoon, I had lunch at 3pm. I don’t mind as long as I have things to do because it is really hard to get some opportunities and I have to appreciate every little opportunity and make use of them all. I was so happy seeing patients, helping out, although it was just basic skills and writing up forms and helping out writing dictated notes. Even happier I could do bim. and spec. ex on a few. I finished that day at 9pm with many lessons, both medical and life generally.

Had I given up, my day, even my week may have taken another course. I will always tell myself, when one door closes, or two, or three, there must be a door for me to open or might have been opened awaiting for me to enter, explore and learn.